Marriages are made in Heaven... Weddings are from Hell!

A couple of days ago I started reading "Diary of a Mad Bride" by Laura Wolf. Never before have I read a fiction book that is SO similar to real life. It was these few particular lines that caught my attention as something very similar had happened to me in the Bridal shop I work in, about a month ago.

"It's true and you know it. People who are about to be married magically transform into raging narcissists. Able to hear reports of burning day-care centers and worry only that the scent of charred diapers might waft into their wedding reception."

You might laugh and think "surely that's not true, people wouldn't be that selfish would they?" YES! They would... and they are. Just a couple of weeks ago I had a woman on the phone who was asking where her bridesmaids dresses were as they were a little late coming to us from the suppliers (by about a week that's all!). I had already spoken to the suppliers on the phone and they had assured us 100% that the dresses would be with us the very same week. The woman was having none of it and played hell with me on the phone. So I told her the reason for them being delayed and her reaction was, to put it nicely, not what I expected. Actually, it was disgusting and I wonder whether people like that even have a heart to love someone enough to get married. This is how it went:

ME: I'm really sorry about your dresses being a week late but there's still a couple of months until the wedding and they'll be with us by Saturday. Plenty of time for alterations.

WOMAN: *Sigh* I could do without all this stress right now. Blah blah blah... (She carried on speaking for about 10 minutes but since I was already livid, I tuned out from the conversation so that I didn't totally flip at her.

ME: I know this must be a stressful time for you, but if you can just listen to me for a second, your dresses are late because the factory is in China and due to the recent earthquake, our suppliers have been hit with delays on the dresses.

WOMAN: I can appreciate that and I'm sorry for all the families of the victims who lost their lives, but this is my WEDDING DAY we are talking about here.

OH MY WORD! It took all of my strength not to scream obscenities and slam the phone down on her at this point. How selfish can someone get? Who the hell do you think you are woman? That SIXTY NINE THOUSAND people losing their lives, and fifteen million losing their homes is less important than a few hours in a day where you stand in a dress, saying vows you will probably break anyway, and getting drunk and embarassing yourself infront of the inlaws. I half wished her dresses wouldn't turn up that Saturday but they did.

Now before I tar all brides-to-be with the same brush, let me get one thing straight. SOME are nice, but even they can turn at any second when you are least expecting it, over a crease in a cravat or whatever. I've even come across couples where I've even questioned if they should be getting married at all! (To myself of course, wouldn't ask them outright or we'd lose the sale of a dress ha ha). This happened just last week: This guy comes in with his mate to be measured for suits. After being measured they were required to pick the colour of the suits, the waistocats and the cravats. He pulls a little bit of paper out of his pocket with a list of the colours that his fiancee had written and picks the colours accordingly. Just as all the suits had been put through the automatic retail system (which means the orders had already reached the suppliers) the girl comes in and demands to know what her other half has ordered. The guy explains he has followed her instructions on the bit of paper, and flips through the swatch chart to show her the colours he has picked. When she sees them she throws a huge tantrum right in the middle of the shop and starts screaming at the guy for being so stupid because those waistcoats and cravats do not match the bridesmaids dresses. He tries (unsuccessfully!) to point out that he has never seen the bridesmaids dresses as she wouldn't show him, so how should he know they didn't match? She proceeds to flip through the swatch chart again, and find the "right" colours this time, muttering under her breath about how she should have done it herself and that her boyfriend was so useless. The poor man was so embarassed, and was trying to calm the girl down but before she left, she had another hissy fit and made a scene by storming out of the shop dragging a little two year old girl behind her. Girl, you didn't look good, you didn't look diva-ish, you just looked stupid, made a massive fool of yourself and now we all don't like you. Seriously, should this couple be getting married at all? If I was the guy I would get out of there before it's too late! Why on earth would he want to be stuck with that for the rest of his life? They didn't even look as if they could stand the sight of each other, let alone be madly in love!

So aren't people missing the point here? If she's too concerned that the waistcoats are the wrong colour to notice that there's something not entirely right with the relationship then it's destined for the divorce courts already. It's the rest of your lives that is important, it's not all about that one day. Will a creased cravat make a difference to your marriage for the next 40 or so years? I don't think so, you wouldn't even be able to see it in photos. Yes ok, everyone wants their "dream wedding" that they've thought about since they were a little girl. But when that one day starts to become more important than your future as a married couple, or the stress of the organisation nearly ends the marriage before it has begun, surely you need to take a step back and review the situation. Remember the reasons you wanted to do this in the first place.

I'm going to stop now because I'll probably get into trouble for posting this anyway, so best quit while I'm ahead, even though I have PLENTY more stories ;-)

Broken Chains Festival 2008!

Between Friday 23rd May and Sunday 25th, the first ever Broken Chains Festival took place in my little home village of Tonyrefail. It was great to see it actually happening after all those months of hard work that everyone put into organising it... Andrew especially! It was a big vision for such a small mining town, many did not believe we could pull it off, but there were those who kept the faith and saw it develop from just an idea into a massive success.


The weekend (which was completely FREE I might add) kicked off with a Christian rock concert on the Friday night, where the likes of YFriday, Electralyte and OneHundredHours were performing. There is no words to describe the feeling I had when I walked out from backstage to see approximately 2,000 teens and twenties jumping with their hands in the air and having a genuinely good time. You might be thinking "well it was a rock concert, that's what happens, it's not strange to see people jumping up and down". Let me explain... It was a Christian rock festival and the majority of people there were not Christians. Now I don't know if this is the same in other places but it is certainly true of my town, that whenever a Christian organisation puts on an event, it is either a) extremely poorly attended, or b) if people decide to turn up they certainly make sure they don't "look" as if they are having a good time. Because we're all bible-bashers and it would look very uncool infront of their friends if they were singing along to Christian songs. Catching my drift? Anyway enough of me waffling on, here's some amazing pics taken by my brother and the rest can be found at the Broken Chains Festival website.

























All day Saturday was a carnival/fete/family day with lots of different shows, workshops and rides for the children. Unfortunately I was working all day so could not attend, but from the pics it seems that a good time was had by all.















And of course not forgetting Terl Bryant and the Psalm Drummers who put on a drum workshop during the day and a concert for all us lucky people in the night. Seriously these people need to be heard to be believed. I have NEVER heard drumming like it in my entire life!















And finally, the festival concluded with a Sunday morning Communion service which was well attended by the local churches. Worship was led by the Tim Bannister Trio from Cardiff. And thus the adventure had come to an end. All those months of planning and it was over before we knew it! Roll on Broken Chains Festival 2009 I say anyway!







Finally, this blog wouldn't be complete without a pic of the man himself... Pastor Andrew Butcher. What an amazing guy. He birthed the vision of this festival and carried it right through until the very end. Even during the times when it looked like the festival would not go ahead, he kept the faith and trusted God in everything. Fantastic job Andrew!

Welcome to my family Denisse!

In September 2007 I became a new mum! Ok well maybe I didn't actually give birth, but I began sponsoring a little girl in Nicaragua via the Compassion child sponsorship programme. I can honestly say it is the most rewarding thing I have done so far in my entire life. Her name is Denisse Milagro Valberbe Mendoza and she is such a little sweetie! I love her as if she was really my own. Here she is:

She is four years old today! Happy Birthday Denisse! I receive lots of letters from her written with the help of her tutor from the Compassion project and really cute little colourings of animals. I adore her! When I started sponsoring Denisse it was because I wanted to give this little girl a chance in life. I don't think it's right that people on this earth live in abundance while others are denied even the basics such as food, water, education and healthcare... I want to see her grow up to be a person with ambitions and influence and through my Compassion money she now has that chance. Compassion gives her the food she needs to live, clean drinking water, proper medical attention, and an education which could have not been previously afforded by her family. It is sad when I think of the harsh reality that without Compassion and my money, she might not have even made it to this day, her fourth birthday! I love her so much. In a few years I will go to Nicaragua to see her and her family where I will be able to see the work of Compassion first hand. Compassion encourages sponsors to go to see their children as it is not a faceless charity that just takes your money and you don't know for sure where your money is going or what it is being used for.

I hope to sponsor another child very soon. A little boy this time instead perhaps. It really does feel as if you're making a difference in the world, and you certainly are making a difference in that particular child's life! What really cuts to my heart is the fact that despite all that I have here in the U.K., the education, more than enough food, stupidly expensive material posessions etc. Denisse's tutor always writes at the end of every letter that Denisse prays for me and my family every day, that we are healthy and that God gives us what we need! What?? Shouldn't it be the other way around? Here are people living in the darkest depths of deprivation and poverty and they are praying for the wellbeing of me and my family? It really hit home to me one day, when I really realised the importance of what she was saying to me. Well I am praying for her and her family also, everyday, but I know already my prayers have been answered. Compassion was the answer to this little girl's prayers as it not only affects her directly but it also helps her family too. Have a great birthday little one, and I hope you liked the presents!!

If you want to know more about sponsoring a child yourself, please go to www.compassionuk.org if you are in the United Kingdom, or www.compassion.com if you are in the States. It really is worth every penny of the £18 a month! That's only 60p a day to save a child's life and better their quality of living more than they could have even imagined!!! My little girl Denisse was fortunate to have found a sponsor but there are thousands and thousands of children registered on the programme who have not yet found sponsors and are waiting in anticipation. You can make a difference by being one of those sponsors and giving yet another child a chance in life.